There are many reasons why conflict between people can arise. As such, it is important that we learn interpersonal skills, probably considered life skills, which we use them throughout our lives as we deal with people from all walks of life.
However, how often do we take the first step to solve the issue between each other?
This happened many years back while i was 10 years old. Being in primary school, I was young, innocent and playful. A few girls and I had formed a little " girl gang" and played little tricks on others, ignoring if they would be hurt or not. Once, we had gone too overboard and tore part of the school uniform of one of our targets. She was furious and slapped one of our friends in exchange. Both parties threatened to report to the teacher the situation. Of course, we were afraid as we were the ones who provoked her first. Thus, we decided that we should resolve the situation between ourselves instead of alarming the teacher we would get into trouble in the end. We started the problem, so we should be the one to end it.
Looking back, I am glad that we made the right choice despite our young age. I felt that we were somewhat mature enough for 10 year olds, to think of the bigger picture and made sure the involved parties were agreeable with the way the situation was handled.
Sometimes, it takes us a whole lot of courage to say " I am sorry", but do not be afraid to take the first step to admit your mistake, if you know that you are wrong in any way! You will find yourself forging better relationships with others.
I agree with you that it takes a lot of courage to say sorry. It also means that you have to put your ego aside, and ignore thoughts of defending yourself. It was a good decision that you and your friends have made, especially since you were only 10 years old. Taking the first step is difficult either because you have to admit your mistake, or put aside your ego. However, it is very satisfying to know that you have made the first move to solve the conflict. To hold on to ill feelings, or bearing grudges is just too tiring.
ReplyDeleteWow Xue Hui I guessed you must have been quite mature then!
ReplyDeleteI remember my favourite tagline to solicit a apology back then was ," I go tell your mother ah!" or " i don't friend you anymore!". It never fails to amaze me how these simple words could illicit such fear in my "victims" , but I guess they grew smarter as they grew older; By the time they were in primary 6 , those threats fell on deaf ears, or perhaps they weren't afraid of their mothers anymore.
Going back to topic, I actually feel that the word sorry has lost its meaning. Rather than not saying it, i feel that we use it too much.
Forgot to do the dishes? Sorry!
Forgot to walk the dog? Sorry!
the list goes on. But my point is, I feel like we hide behind the word sorry too much as a go to solution for all the world's problems. While a simple apology could be presented, I feel that it is more important to show ones sincerity in showing that one is truly remorseful .
Admitting that you are in the wrong does take courage but then, it takes more from you to try to correct the mistakes you have done.. I think we should not stop with just a verbal apology but there has got to be efforts to make it up to someone after you wronged him/her. After all, actions speak louder than words and I always bear this in mind when I deal with humans.
ReplyDeletePersonally I felt that sometimes, the word 'sorry' has lost its meaning with people using it without really meaning it. One example of this is when you bump into someone on the MRT. Try recalling the last time someone seemed to really mean it after they inflict pain on your poor feet. Haha.
On a sidenote, wow, I think you're definitely a character in your younger days.. :)